EnterUganda

. Kampala, Uganda.

Rentals:

In one of the more popular video libraries in town, patrons were once treated to the spectacle of a young man, upper middle class from the sound of it, speaking to the library attendant but making a point to be loud enough for everyone in the establishment to hear, who said that he wanted "a movie that will make me think." He went home with a Steven Segal flick.

There were no gasps of astonishment, no sniggers of disdain. Fact is There was nothing remarkable about this. Cinema around here is not an intellectual exercise. In Kampala, few things are.

There are basically three ways Ugandans get their movie fix. Cinema halls still have the shine of novelty about them, in a country still recovering from economic ruin of the Idi Amin era. There are three cinema halls worth speaking about.

Only one of them qualifies as major, and that is Cineplex. It's relatively comfy and classy. They do sell popcorn and coca cola In the lobby. Virtually every one of your yuppies will have been there once, if they are not regulars.
Cineplex, located on the cusp of the class divide, (on the edge of Luwum street, a stone's throw from the taxi park) mostly shows established Hollywood hits.
Geographically uptown, but aesthetically y downtown we have plaza cinema, which shows bollywood fare mainly, and on Kampala road there is CineAfrique which had been rotating Titanic and the Big Hit for ages.

The majority of movie watching activity takes place in our homes though, courtesy of our friendly neighborhood video library. Blitz on Kampala road, scene of the tableau that opened this article, is the biggest and most successful, but every suburb has a pretender.

Not only is the stock in Video libraries more diverse, it is easier to find more recent releases here than in the cinema.
Bootleggers are diligent and efficient and so within weeks of the latest flicks opening, Ugandans will be able to watch it. That is if they are prepared to endure the picture being frequently interrupted by the words "for promotional purposes only." Few of us would complain though.

We in Uganda are sadly neglected by the official movie distribution system. If we went about things the legitimate way, it would be eons before we go to see the titles the rest of the global village is talking about.

Plus we really are not hurting anyone. Hollywood studios wouldn't make that much money off us even if there were no bootleggers. Just because we drink coca cola and much on French fries awhile watching "Gladiator" doesn't mean we are not still a poor third world country.

We would contribute less than a pittance to the global box office takings anyway. The third and most idiosyncratically Ugandan source of movie kicks is the Kiwempe (shack) cinema. These abound in the suburbs and outskirts of the city. Patrons pay about 200 shillings, (for comparison, Cineplex costs 7,000 shillings) to sit in rows of wooden benches to watch action blockbusters on a video screen. (if you stay late enough you could catch a blue movie or two, if that's your preference.)

You won't find the newest art house existential drama. Here it is the sort of film that doesn't rely too much on dialogue and plot (which can be said for quite a bit of the current Hollywood crop, but be that as it may.).
High action, stunts and violence are paramount. In these cinemas, Stallone is still John Rambo, Schwarzenegger is still the manly man's manly man, and Bruce Lee still lives.
Dialogue is not of great importance, but that doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Most of the patrons of the biwempe don't speak more English than is necessary to survive in Uganda, and certainly do not speak American.

Randy Quaid shooting up the Alien ship in Independence Day smirking "Payback's a bitch, ain't it?" is absolute Greek.
To counter this-and this is where the charm of the kiwempe comes from-an alternative soundtrack is dubbed over the one given. A voiceover narrator who doesn't just narrate, but with a dexterous and acrobatic mix of Luganda, and slang, he reinvents the movie, often inventing his own story in the process.

Any movie fan with any grasp of Luganda does him or herself an injustice by missing out on the kiwempe cinema experience.
In all, cinema in Uganda is unlike what it is in the CNN showbiz reports.
Its is something uniquely our own. This could be because it is so new.
Having only recently got to the level of having an economy (as opposed to having Idi Amin) we really haven't got to the point where we look at cinema as art and not just entertainment.
Jim Carrey is still considered a superior cinematic talent to Woody Allen by most of us. We are still in Wizard Of Oz, Singin' In The Rain, Viva Las Vegas stage, not yet Casablanca, and not yet 2001 Space Odessy.

Which is not to say we can't appreciate a fine piece of cinema. Just that for the most part, that is not what we look for in a film. America Beauty may contain deep insights into a certain lifestyle but that is not our lifestyle.

All the coca cola notwithstanding, we are still not Americans. We may sympathize but we cannot empathize, so looking to cinema to comment on life, is still akin to looking in the ocean for a working matchstick. The most Hollywood can provide is entertainment. We do love to seen Americans blow up their cars, cheat on their wives, etc. So for now, at least, we will go to the cinema, to the video library or to the kiwempe for kicks and nothing more.

This is Kampala, Uganda. Where life is a party, and God speaks in punchlines. Don't look for serious movie fans who want to think. Look for Steven Segal fans.